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Creative Strokes of Self Discovery

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last month4 min read

Yesterday I made the decision to stop ignoring my art journey… I have not really said much about it, but have been fobbing it off to the side for a while now. As I sat down yesterday to reflect on my creative journey, I found myself tangled in a ball of emotions, a whole conglomeration of doubt, exhilaration, and acknowledgement for the aspects of self-discovery.

For years, I've poured my heart and soul into my art, yet insecurities have often derailed my vision, whispering doubts about the worthiness of my creations and whether anyone would truly appreciate them. But through it all, I've come to realise that art is not just about external validation; it's a deeply personal journey of self-expression and growth. Yes, this is something I know well - but your insecurities are very good at convincing you otherwise sometimes.

Growing up, I was always drawn to art in many forms. Whether it was sketching in my maths book during class or losing myself in front of the piano, creativity was my sanctuary, my safe space - a place where I could escape everyday pressures and troubles and just dive into my imagination. But as I got older that annoying and nagging voice of insecurity began to creep in, creating doubts over my passions.

I remember very clearly the first time I hesitantly shared my artwork with others, waiting for their reactions. My heart raced with anticipation, longing for validation yet fearing rejection. Would they see the flaws I saw? Would they dismiss my creations as amateurish or unworthy of attention? These questions plagued my mind, threatening to overshadow the joy I found in creating. How simultaneously CRAZY and sad, right?!

Yes, I understand that art is a journey of self-discovery, a process of embracing imperfections and celebrating individuality. It's not about conforming to external standards of perfection, but rather about staying true to oneself and embracing the unique perspective we each bring to the world. Acceptance of this, I began to loosen the grip of insecurity and embrace my art with newfound confidence, but sadly that does not lock the demons away for good, lol.

No… My journey has not been without its challenges. There have been moments of frustration when my vision refused to materialise on canvas or digital canvas and there are still times when self-doubt threatens to derail my creative aspirations - which is one of the reasons I have been avoiding it lately. But through it all, I have clung to the belief that art is a reflection of the soul, a testament to the beauty and complexity of human experience. So… regardless of what my inner ramble says, I have made a conscious decision to let go of fear and to continue sharing my work with the world.

If I am truly honest with myself… making the decision to share my art with the world, despite my lingering insecurities has been one of the most transformative aspects of my creative journey. Yet, even as I received positive feedback towards my art, I still find myself having to silence my insecurities. As frustrating as this has been, I have also come to witness and realise that it seems to be something which many creatives battle with, so at least I know I am not alone, lol.

Nonetheless, I've come to realise that my creative journey is not defined by what others think or whether or not my stuff even sells… it is about the joy and fulfilment I find in the act of creation itself. Each piece I create is a reflection of who I am, a snapshot of my thoughts, emotions, and experiences frozen in time. And whether or not others choose to purchase my art is ultimately beside the point – what matters is that I continue to create, to explore, and to grow as an artist and as a human being. So, yay to that haha!

So here I am, denying my doubts entry and just moving forward with what I want - and what I want is to share my art with the world… to have it up on walls and enjoyed, not only from a visual perspective, but from an emotional one too.