There are a lot of untold stories and bugging issues in many homes that is affecting children and young adults' mental state. Like I said in my last post that I've heard a lot from teenagers in the course of discharging my duties as a Sunday School teacher in Teenagers and young adults' department.
In this post, I want to continue with some of the questions I got from Teens, and I'll also provide some answers and encouraging words I gave to them. I thank God for the new position I'm handling, it's exposes me to hidden issues that children are battling with, I believe this post will help parents especially mothers and guardians in giving proper upbringing of children under their watch.
"Uncle, the one big problem I have, is that my mom loves me but she doesn't trust me or believe in me..... What do I do?"
My dear, I am happy that you have actually accepted that your mom loves you, but your problem has to do with her trusting you. Loving you is the most important thing of all. The love of a parent means that they will give their life to protect you.
In terms of trusting you, I strongly believe your mom trusts you, but cannot trust you with your life and decisions, because you are still growing. Until you are 18 years old, you are still a child by every standard and require appreciable level of guidance from adults, especially your parents.
Meanwhile, put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself why you think she doesn't trust you. Could it be that she wants you to earn her trust by convincing her that you are becoming more and more responsible each day?
Could it be that she doesn't like the company you keep or the things you say at home? If your ways are right, time will come when they will so trust you and also entrust their lives and businesses into your care.
They will depend on you to make important decisions. Remember that your mom had once been your age and knows the pressures and demands of such an age. I've thought this way before, but believe me when I tell you that I can now make my own decisions and my parents are pleased with them and in most cases, they seek my advice.
"Uncle, my mom and dad are separated and this breaks my heart. It gets me thinking, and I just feel like running away. Our house ceased to be a home the day this happened and there has been no joy in that home since then....."
Running away my dear will not solve anything, it will only compound everything. Your life and health can be in serious danger if you take such a decision. It is best you face your challenges than turn your back on them.
This situation is peculiar to you alone, as there are many teens that have the same problem. You have to come to terms with the fact that the separation has taken place, and that it is between your parents and not you.
You are not the one separating, but both of them and it is not your fault. They had come together at some point; long before you were born and agreed to be joined together as a couple and if they wish not to continue being together, they should have at least considered you before making such a selfish decision. They are not parting ways with you because you are a very important part of both of them.
As a way forward, try as much as possible not to dwell on sorrows and bitterness. Keep communicating with both of them and keep reminding them of the good times the family has had in the past and how you would like those good times to happen again.